My new apartment! Lol

Ok so I found this via a guy Reaper28 on FWS and they driected it to another website that from reading the comments I was able to find the source! Who wants to get this apartment? I know I do, I have been saving thanks to my job at the ReviewBrewery, awesome to work and to taste 😛

Here is the ad from craigslist!

Happy New Year 2009!!!!
Room for rent – Semi-private room in basement share – Daily Breakfast and Dinner provided…A new year’s deal indeed!!!
Available Immediately – Cambie & Broadway – Showing Saturday and Sunday – Email for directions and additional information.

What kind of apartment is it?
• Great location, close to new subway line opening later this year
• Room is tastefully decorated with modern minimalist décor
• Room for rent in basement apartment – living with 7 other tenants (4 bedrooms total) with separate entrance – there are 2 tenants per bedroom (bunk beds)
• Bedroom sizes – approximately 80 square feet each (10 ft x 8ft) – Bedrooms are equipped with bunk beds, desk, alarm clock with radio, and combination toilet/sink
• Shared dayroom for activities, TV watching, Bible study, etc. Approximately 120 square feet. The dayroom is furnished.
• Shared bathroom and kitchen area
• There is even a window! Security bars installed for your safety and to prevent unauthorized activity
• Closed circuit camera (CCTV) installed for security and safety. One in the dayroom, one at the apartment entrance, and one in the exercise yard

• First month’s rent + ½ month security deposit due at move in
• One year lease required, option to renew lease at end of the term with no increase in rent
• LANDLORD’S SPECIAL! Sign a one year lease and receive free laundry tokens valued at $41.00

Included in the rent:

• Meals – Breakfast and Dinner Only – The serving of meals is at 6:15 am for Breakfast and at 5:30 pm for dinner. When a meal is announced you will proceed in an orderly fashion, forming a single line at the door behind the red square. One tenant at a time will step into the red square and receive his/her meal. Upon receiving your tray, you will move to a table for consumption of the meal. If there is an issue with the tray provided, report it to the Supervisor or Assistant Pastor before you leave the line. When the meal is completed, you are to empty your tray of excess food and trash in the garbage can and neatly stack the trays next to the door for collection. It is your responsibility to line up when meal service is announced. The Supervisor or Kitchen Staff will not wake you for meals, and will not come back to the bunk rooms once they have completed serving the tenants who were in line. The meal served is to be eaten the day it is served. Tenants are not to take parts of their meal back to their bunk area and store food. Supervisors or the Assistant Pastor will destroy any food served from our kitchen found stored in the bunk rooms.
• Electricity
• Heat – Maintained at 21C/70F degrees with lock box to prevent unauthorized tampering. You may not use your oven to heat the apartment. If you do, you will be fined $55.00 per occurrence. If you are cold, report this condition to the landlord or supervisor on duty and you will be provided with a thick blanket.
• Air conditioning – Maintained at 25C/77F degrees during the summer with lock box to prevent extra cooling from being dispensed. If you are hot, report this condition to the landlord or supervisor on duty and you may borrow a fan for your use ($20 deposit required)
• 25″ Zenith color television set with basic cable service – INCLUDED IN RENT! Cable television service will be shut off at 11:00 p.m. daily.
• Wireless internet (with content filter applied to block forbidden/immoral websites) – INCLUDED IN RENT! Internet service will be shut off at 10:00 p.m. daily. You are limited to 2 GB of data transfer allowance per month, per tenant. You must supply your own laptop computer. You cannot borrow another tenant’s computer.
• Provision of coin laundry services – Tenants will share a coin laundry washing machine and dryer. Washers and dryers are paid using a token system. Tokens can be purchased from the landlord. Washer tokens cost $5.50 each and dryer tokens cost $4.75 each. Soap will be made available at the cost of $3.00 per wash load, or you may prefer to use your own. You are not allowed to use foreign currency or slugs in the washer and dryer. Violators will be fined $100.00 per infraction. We think your friends will be jealous of your coin laundry machine.
• Telephone – Local telephone service is included in the rent. Phones are turned on from 7:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m. daily. Tenants are limited to 2 hours of telephone calling per week, at which point no additional calls will go through. You must enter your tenant ID number (located on your ID bracelet) prior to making a call. You must use a calling card for long distance calls at your expense, and these calls will count towards your two hour weekly allotment. Please note that telephone calls could be and are monitored on a regular basis.
• Bedroll – Upon move in, you will receive a new tenant orientation and bedroll kit, including 1 sheet, 1 blanket, 1 pillow, 1 pillowcase, 1 hygiene kit, 1 pair of socks, 1 pair of boxer shorts, 1 towel, 1 facecloth, 1 orange jumpsuit, 1 tenant’s handbook, and 1 toilet roll. Additional toilet rolls can be purchased through the commissary for $2.00 apiece. Additional clothing is also available from the commissary.

About us: (Landlords)

We are fundamentalist, conservative, Bible believing, God-fearing, born again, evangelical Christians. We interpret the Bible literally in every way possible. We live a strict moral code and observe God’s laws in our everyday life. My wife stays at home and teaches our home-schooled children. I work as a pastor at a local congregation and am active in the faith community. I would encourage new tenants to seek out and establish a relationship with Jesus if they have not yet done so.

About you: (Tenant)

• You are employed
• You do not participate in lascivious deviant sexual behavior
• You do not choose fringe alternative lifestyles as your lifestyle
• You are not have any criminal history
• You must have excellent character references
• You do not smoke, drink or take drugs. Mandatory drug screening required.
• Ability to follow directions and correct behavior “shape up or ship out”

Additional Rules/Conditions:

CLEANLINESS: You are responsible for the cleanliness and orderliness of your room. Beds are to be made before leaving your room, countertops must be wiped down, and you must remove all trash. Upon inspection, if the tenant’s personal area is not clean, the cost of cleaning services plus a fine of $110.00 will be levied.
LIGHTS: The lights in your basement suite and in the day room are not to be tampered with. If a light needs repair, report the condition to the Landlord immediately.
WAKE-UP: Wake up will be at 5:30 a.m. each morning. All ceiling lights in the suite will be turned on automatically. Beds must be made at this time, and no later than 6:00 a.m. daily.
LIGHTS OUT: Ceiling lights in the suite will be turned off at 11:30 p.m. Small desk lamps are permitted for Bible reading, etc. provided your bunk mate agrees.
CONTRABAND: The following items are considered contraband – alcohol, illegal drugs, tobacco, weapons, lock picking equipment, firearms, and pornographic materials. If any contraband is discovered to be in your possession, you will be subject to a minimum $1,250.00 fine. In addition, your items will be confiscated permanently. Second offense – you will be evicted without notice. A bailiff will escort you and your belongings off the premises. Your security deposit will not be returned.
MAIL: Incoming mail addressed to you will be opened and inspected for contraband. It will not be read for content unless there is a compelling reason to do so. You may receive a maximum of 20 pieces of mail per week. Incoming mail in excess of 20 pieces will be held until the following week.
SMOKING: The basement suite is non-smoking. Anyone in possession of tobacco products of any kind or any lighter or matches, will have their contraband items confiscated and will be fined $1,250.00.
INSPECTIONS: The Landlord, Assistant Pastor, or the supervisor on duty will conduct unannounced inspections to ensure that these rules and regulations are being followed.
VISITATION: Visitation periods will be on Saturdays and Sundays from 1:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. All visitors and their vehicles are subject to search while on Landlord property. Refusal to allow a search can result in their being barred from all future visitation privileges. All visitors must sign the Visitor’s Log. First time visitors will pay a fee of $50.00 to cover paperwork and administrative costs resulting from their visit. Unauthorized visitors will be escorted from the property, and the tenant will be fined $250.00.
I.D. BRACELETS: Each tenant will be issued an I.D. bracelet with his/her photograph and tenant ID number. It must be worn at all times. If you lose your I.D. bracelet or it is broken, you will be required to purchase a new one at the nominal cost of $6.25.
EXERCISE YARD: The tenant will have access to the exercise yard in the area to the back of the property for 2 hours per day from 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm. The tenant is not allowed to bring any personal property to the exercise yard. Once the tenant leaves the exercise yard on a particular day, he or she may not return. No boisterous behavior is allowed in the exercise yard. There is no smoking allowed in the exercise yard. Minimum fine for exercise yard infractions is $50.00.

Keep in mind the temperatures are in Celsius and not Fahrenheit. So…Who wants there ID bracelet?

[Source: Craigslist]


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